Christmas at the Urameshi house
by kikira-san
Summary: Hiei is staying at Yusuke's for Christmas CHAPTER 4 omg! its alllllllive! this is kinda just getting general now. i despise my own humor.
1. Prologue or however you spell it!

Kikira-san:im gonna write now so everybody shut up  
  
Hiei: great::Sarcasm::  
  
Kurama: I am not going to be OOC again am I?  
  
Yusuke: why do I have to be here?  
  
Kikira-san: I SAID SHUT UP!  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke: O.o  
  
Kikira-san: good  
  
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Hiei blinked. It was probably the worst idea he'd ever had but he did. Nope he was still there. In Yusuke's apartment starring at Yusuke who smiled back at him like this was some kind of great achievement.   
  
"Why am I here and how did I get here?" Hiei asked.   
  
"Botan brought you. Koenma told her to take you to Kurama's but he went with his family on vacation so she brought you here," Yusuke replied merrily. Hiei sat up and pulled on his injuries.   
  
"Hey don't do that! It took hell for me to even figure out what I was doing!" Yusuke said shoving Hiei back down on the futon. Hiei blinked at him again. This was all really freaky.   
  
"I have to go back for the artifact I left it," Hiei replied as he sat back up again.   
  
"Botan said she would get it so you stay there. Also I got a call from Kurama and told me that you should stay here for Christmas. My mom doesn't care. Well she saw Botan bring you in so I don't think she cares," Yusuke said thoughtfully. "Beside man you don't look so good. Having a holiday would be good for you," Yusuke said decisively. When Yusuke said he was going to do something and he meant it's not like when he said he'd go to school but like when he meant to help someone. So Hiei was going to be stuck there at the Urameshi residence for the holidays. God help us all.   
  
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Kikira-san: its just an idea shoot me  
  
Hiei: gladly anyone have a gun?  
  
Kurama: no and you can't kill ningiens  
  
Hiei: watch me  
  
Kikira-san: yea kill me ::sniffle:: then the world would be happy becuz im dead and you two could go get killed and raped by all the other authoress in other stories and id laugh at you from hell!  
  
Hiei and Kurama: O.O  
  
Yusuke: wow over react much?  
  
Kikira-san: go to hell 


	2. Chapter 1

Kikira-san: okay here we go ch. 1 of w/e I decided to call this  
  
Hiei: I hate you all  
  
Kurama: so what's new?  
  
Hiei: nothing really  
  
Yusuke: I'm bored  
  
Kikira-san: you won't be soon BWHAHAHAHA  
  
Yusuke: eep  
  
Kikira-san: disclaimer Hiei?  
  
Hiei: kikira-san doesn't own YYH or anything related to it  
  
Kikira-san: ^-^ I wish I did though!  
  
Hiei Yusuke Kurama: ::cringe::  
  
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Yusuke was showing Hiei around the apartment which wasn't hard because it was a small. Well fair sized for an apartment but still not exactly big. Hiei followed deciding to make the best of the holiday. With his injuries still healing he couldn't escape Yusuke which of course doesn't mean he hadn't tried but each time Yusuke brought him back. Usually in the most degrading way Yusuke could think of. Hiei sweatdropped and resigned himself to kill Kurama when he got back. He knew this was the fox's fault.   
  
"This is my room which you already know. You can take the couch in the living room be careful of mom though sometimes she gets really drunk and collapses there. Hiei? Ningienkai to Hiei. Come in Hiei!" Yusuke said, waving his hand in Hiei's face. Hiei had this really evil smirk, but he blinked and looked up at Yusuke when a hand was waved in front of his face.   
  
"Oro?" Hiei intoned stupidly.  
  
"Woo you watch Kenshin???" Yusuke said purely amazed. Hiei suddenly thought the slippers Yusuke had given him (they were bunnies) were incredibly interesting and starred at them for a couple of seconds while being mercilessly teased about watching Kenshin. (AN I like that show! Shut up Yusuke!) "Do you like Karou too???" Yusuke teased again smiling a little too much. (A/N no not Karou no!!!)  
  
"Yusuke! What are you doing?" someone said, sounding half awake and slightly miffed.   
  
"Good morning, Mother or should I say good afternoon?" Yusuke muttered leading Hiei into the living room or trying too. Hiei suddenly had a look of immense fear and wouldn't move. "Come on it's just my mother!" Yusuke said tugging on Hiei's arm. Hiei looked at him like he'd just said 'come on it's just the devil' then again to Hiei that's what it amounted too.   
  
To make a much too long story short Hiei had once met Shori. Well we all know Shori is a nice kind loving mother but to Hiei she was an overly protective, crazed, torturous mother. When she met Hiei for the first time which translates to when she accidentally caught Hiei in Kurama's room talking to Kurama. Instead of questioning how he got in and what he was doing there, she automatically started preaching about how he was too thin and unkept. Which led to the washing of Hiei's clothes, the washing of Hiei, the feeding of Hiei, and the bed in Kurama's room. Through all of the torture which was inflicted upon him Kurama sat back watched and hid his laughter very badly. This resulted in Kurama mysteriously getting a bad case of poison ivy and Hiei mysteriously disappearing. Kurama told his mother some story and Hiei avoided Kurama who was very pissed at him for a few weeks. Well I tried to make a long story short but it was just kinda medium.   
  
"Yusuke, what are you doing?" Atsuko asked coming around the corner supporting herself on the wall. Yusuke turned to his mother while still trying to figure out what had happened to Hiei. "Who's this Yusuke?" Atsuko asked.   
  
"Mom, come on, Botan brought him right by you. How drunk are you??" Yusuke asked and Hiei was quietly moving for the door to Yusuke's room which also happened to have a window. "Hiei don't even try the window or I'll drag you past Kuwabara's house." Yusuke was still facing his mom but could sense Hiei's ki moving for the door. Hiei stopped where he was and sighed. Stupid Yusuke, stupid mothers, stupid Kurama.   
  
"Yusuke stop being so uptight! Now tell me who our little guest is?" Atsuko asked. Hiei looked at the door again and then back at Yusuke and then the door. With his mom distracting him, Yusuke might not be able to catch up to him. Yusuke looked at him and he felt Yusuke's ki spike then again maybe it was a bad idea to test Yusuke now.  
  
"This is Hiei mom. He's a friend of mine and an orphan. He's spending the holiday's with us," Yusuke said Atsuko's eyes suddenly got very teary. Yusuke just had to add the orphan comment Hiei thought when he was suddenly engulfed in a hug. Hiei choked, quite sure that his broken ribs had just punctured his lung.   
  
"You, poor kid, all alone on Christmas!!! Well you're more than welcome here! Poor baby!" Atsuko said, hugging the child for a bit. You could tell she was pretty drunk. Hiei sighed and shot Yusuke one of those "you're so dead when I get out of this" looks. Yusuke half-grinned.   
  
"Mom, I don't think Hiei can breathe like that!" Yusuke commented as Hiei started to turn a little blue. Hiei cringed and coughed.   
  
"Oh sorry Hiei," she said, letting him go so he fell onto the floor clutching at his poor broken ribs with a half-whine.   
  
"Well it's almost time for dinner what do you guys want?" Yusuke asked.   
  
"Hn," Hiei said and Atsuko looked at him for a minute.  
  
"There's nothing here to make," she muttered losing track of where she was. She walked back to the tv and collapsed in front of it. "Would you like to watch tv Hiei?" she asked, still trying to be nice to Hiei. He shook his head and followed Yusuke into the kitchen. Atsuko shrugged and flipped on the tv.  
  
"Hiei, you look up in the cabinets and I'll look in the fridge there has got to be something here," Yusuke directed. Hiei looked up at the cabinets which were about a foot above his arm reach. Grumbling something under his breath and shooting Yusuke's back evil glares, Hiei climbed up on the counter and looked through the cabinets.   
  
"There isn't anything here," Hiei confirmed as he got off the counter and looked over Yusuke's shoulder to see anything in the fridge. To do this, he had to stand on his toes. Hiei being very naturally balanced would have been able to do this had it not been for the sudden screech.  
  
"YUSUKE URAMESHI!" that caused Hiei to topple backwards and land on his butt with an "oomph." Yusuke merely groaned and pulled out what looked like a sake bottle and then two cans of soda. Hiei contented himself on the floor sitting cross legged and waiting for Yusuke's abusive girlfriend to distract him then he could hopefully get away from the mad house. "Konichiwa Atsuko-san" Kekio said, "where's Yusuke?"  
  
"He's in the kitchen with his little friend," Atsuko responded lazily. Hiei winced and wondered how long it would be before Atsuko learned his name.   
  
"Thank you, Atsuko!" Kekio practically chirped.   
  
"I foresee pain in your near future," Hiei muttered to Yusuke who nodded grimly.   
  
"YUSUKE!" Kekio yelled from the kitchen doorway.   
  
"I'm right here Kekio you don't have to yell," Yusuke muttered.  
  
"You said you were going to meet me after school but you weren't even at school!!!" Kekio screeched. Hiei put his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the noise but he could still hear the conversation just fine.   
  
"Saying I'll meet you after school doesn't necessarily mean I'll be at school Kekio," Yusuke responded. "Hiei, you can sit in a chair you know." Hiei got up and sat in a chair and took one of the sodas and opened it. He sipped at it while he watched Kekio and Yusuke fight.   
  
"But you didn't meet me after school either, Yusuke!" Kekio said pointedly.   
  
"Botan dropped in and . . . " Yusuke started.  
  
"So you'd rather spend time on missions and with Botan then with me?" She asked practically in tears.  
  
"Botan Hiei was hurt did you want me to abandon him here?" Yusuke said. "Ask Hiei," he said pointing at Hiei. Hiei blinked at Yusuke.   
  
"Well Hiei?" Kekio asked. Hiei blinked at Kekio.   
  
"Yea Hiei, well?" Yusuke said glaring at him slightly and a bit pleadingly. Hiei sipped his cola and looked at Kekio than Yusuke. Now if he said Yusuke blantly ignored Kekio Yusuke would suffer but later he would suffer. If he told Kekio the truth Yusuke wouldn't suffer and he wouldn't suffer. As much as he wanted revenge on Yusuke for carrying him back to the apartment numerous times the no suffering path looked best.   
  
"I got in a fight. Kurama is away on vacation so Botan brought me here and Yusuke helped me out. I assume he couldn't leave to go and meet you while tending my injuries. My apologies for the trouble," Hiei said getting up and going to watch t.v. with Atsuko. It was quieter and as long as she didn't make him sit in her lap or anything he could tolerate it. He didn't watch Kenshin he read the magna.   
  
"Hello Hiei," Atsuko greeted him and he sat on the couch while she sat on futon in the middle of the room.   
  
"Hn" he responded watching as she flipped channels. A minute or two later after some talking Hiei didn't bother listening to Kekio came out of the kitchen.   
  
"Thank you for telling me Hiei. I hope you get better soon. Happy holidays, you two!" she said merrily going out the door. Yusuke came out of the kitchen a few minutes later.   
  
"I am ordering some take out. Thanks for saving my ass, Hiei," Yusuke said. Hiei nodded and returned to watching Atsuko flip channels. It was almost like they were comfortable with each others presence. After making the call Yusuke flopped down next to Hiei who was sitting cross legged on one end of the couch.   
  
"What did you order Yusuke?" Atsuko asked.   
  
"Ramen," Yusuke responded.  
  
"We always have ramen," Atsuko sighed and laid down flipping to the jeopardy show.  
  
"What is a sealed vacuum tube in which one or more beams of electrons are produced?"   
  
"What is a televison?"  
  
"No I am afraid that's incorrect."  
  
"It's a cathode-ray tube," Hiei mumbled from the couch. Both Atsuko and Yusuke looked at him with an eyebrow raised then back at the tv.   
  
"No more guesses? The answer was what is a cathode-ray tube," the host(2) said. Yusuke looked back at Hiei with one of those suspicious looks and Atsuko looked a bit shocked but was still pretty out of it.   
  
"How'd you know that?" Yusuke asked  
  
"Kurama." Hiei responded.   
  
"You actually listen to the stuff he says? And remember it?" Yusuke asked incredulously.   
  
"Hn," Hiei responded and looked away. He was spared from future inquires when the doorbell rang.   
  
"I got it," Yusuke said still slightly awed.   
  
Yusuke skived the bill by threatening to beat up the delivery boy. Atsuko didn't seem to really care. Hiei made no comment either way.   
  
"Well Hiei, dig in!" Yusuke said, brandishing his chopsticks. Atsuko had already started into hers.  
  
Hiei looked at the take-out bowl. It looked back at him. It would take at least two weeks for his ribs to heal, demon or not. He was stuck in the house. He had to accept the fact that he was stuck here. Besides he had no intention of offending anyone. He sighed again, opening the bowl and picking up his own chopsticks. If he was going to stay here, he wasn't going to eat take-out every night. That's for damn sure, he thought biting into the noodles and wincing.   
  
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Kikira-san: okay so the ending was . . . weird.  
  
Hiei: no fuck  
  
Kurama: at least he's not stuck at my house.   
  
Yusuke: this is going to get bad fast ain't it?  
  
Kikira-san: you know the drill REVIEW!  
  
Hiei:hn  
  
Kikira-san: I love that!   
  
A/N: I know I know not what you were hoping for it'll get better now that the basic is out of the way. Fluffy friendship is way overdue for a update I am trying to get ahead a bit so I can update more. I'll update soon. The chapter just needs spell check and all. Also should I bring Kuwabara into the next chapter? I already have a plan for Yukina and Atsuko and even Kekio (no not death). Ja now REVIEW! 


	3. Chapter 2

Kikira-san: someone explain to me why I don't smoke?  
  
Hiei: it's unhealthy  
  
Kurama: it's also illegal  
  
Kikira-san: alright I get it there is no escape from my misery  
  
Hiei: *cough melodramatic cough*  
  
Kikira-san: I hate you do the disclaimer  
  
Hiei: Kikira-san owns us or is illegally claiming she does!! I mean it!   
  
Kikira-san: I do NOT own YYH or anything related never listen to Hiei  
  
Kurama: you guys are so cute  
  
Hiei: Kurama don't make me kill you  
  
Kikira-san: let's just do the story (and I don't own YYH!)  
  
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The first thing to register in Yusuke's brain was he was rapidly being poked in the face, and it was horribly uncomfortable. He turned sideways to avoid the poking but this time it was accompanied by a voice.  
  
"Yusuke, get up I have to leave," his mother said still poking him. "Yusuke, wake up come on you aren't dead again. Wake up!" Becoming slightly frantic, Atsuko shook Yusuke's arm hard."Wake up, baby!"  
  
"Alright, Mom I am awake," Yusuke said to be enveloped in a hug. This had become typical routine every time that Atsuko woke up before Yusuke. "Its okay mom I am still alive," Yusuke said, patting her on the back. He spied a short black shadow at the door. Hiei glanced at him with a nod and shut the door behind him giving the two a little privacy. Yusuke eyed the clock from the hug. It read 4:32. Yusuke wanted to hit it but his mother was a little unstable so he couldn't.  
  
"Don't do that, you scared me!" Atsuko said calming down quietly. "I am going out. I'll be gone for a while. Don't worry about me I'll be back tonight. Ja," she said, kissing his cheek and going out the door. Yusuke glared sullenly at her back as she ran down the hall. She stopped for a second and looked into the kitchen. Yusuke could only assume she was talking to Hiei. Yusuke couldn't pick up on most of it but the last words. "Ja Hiei-chan!" Yusuke snorted and started to laugh as his mom ran out the door avoiding certain death.   
  
Yusuke was still rolling around on the floor laughing until he saw Hiei walk past his doorway. Hiei was carrying a coffee mug and wearing a pair of his mother's socks. Yusuke eyed them curiously.   
  
"She gave them to me," Hiei sniffed, sipping his coffee.  
  
"Okay I got it. Well I don't have school anymore, what do you want to do?" Yusuke asked getting up and grabbing his towel as he headed to the bathroom. "We could go meet Kuwabara but this is vacation I don't want to have any fighting on vacation and that's all you two do," Yusuke muttered around his toothbrush.   
  
"I'd take offense if I could tell what you were saying," Hiei responded. "Whatever happened to that blue penguin thing?"   
  
"Ahh Shizuru is going to kill me. I forgot to pick up Puu!! I left him at Kuwabara's house when I went out last week on a mission," Yusuke muttered turning on the shower. "Well that shoots down the whole avoid 'you and Kuwabara fighting' plan. We are going right to the heart of it all, and Hiei, don't destroy Kuwabara's house. I am going to take a shower. There'll be enough hot water for you to take one and then we can leave."  
  
"By then it won't even be eight o'clock," Hiei said from the kitchen refilling his coffee mug.   
  
"If we walk it will take up more time. I mean walk, not run," Yusuke responded from the shower.   
  
"Hn," Hiei said sitting on the couch again. All of the sudden right in the middle of the weather channel, Yusuke broke out in song. "Shit, do you really call that singing? You sound like a cat in a blender on puree," Hiei yelled turning up the tv to block the awful noise. Yusuke laughed over his singing causing if anything an even scarier noise. "Your neighbors are going to call the police!" Hiei warned trying to get him to stop.  
  
"SO? They've done it before." Yusuke continued his song and Hiei just sweatdropped. "Okay I am finished. You can have the shower. There are towels in stuff in the cabinets."  
  
"Hn," Hiei responded going to the damp bathroom. (A/N sry fangirls, but we're skipping it)  
  
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"Geez Hiei, get out of there! What are you doing fixing your hair?" Yusuke yelled banging on the door.   
  
"Actually yes I am. That and my bandages," Hiei yelled back. He was wrapping the bandages back around his ribs as he finished. He stood up and changed back into his clothes except his shirt. His hair was still down and wet and he didn't want to get shirt wet. He grabbed the hair dryer off the counter and turned it on high.   
  
"You okay in there? You haven't like accidentally blown up a wall have you?" Yusuke asked worriedly after a few minutes.   
  
"There was a wall there? Oops oh well," Hiei said sarcastically.  
  
"That's not funny Hiei!!" Yusuke snapped. Hiei finished with his hair and pulled back on his shirt.   
  
"Hn," Hiei said going past him as he exited the bathroom to get his cloak and scarf.   
  
"Come on let's go," Yusuke said, locking the door behind them. "And walk, Hiei, walk, it's not hard."  
  
"Neither is killing you, but I refrain from doing so," came the response from about ten feet behind him.   
  
"What are you doing?" Yusuke asked looking back at Hiei.  
  
"I am pretending like I don't know you. You keep going I'll stay behind you but I'd prefer it if we weren't seen together in public . . . no offense," Hiei responded scathingly.  
  
"You are such a jerk," Yusuke said walking back to walk next to Hiei. (Oo)  
  
"I try," Hiei responded dryly.   
  
They walked down through town and it seemed nice. Yusuke occasionally made conversation which Hiei would respond to and it was fairly comfortable. Until they got to the stop light down town. It was really busy. It was the last stop light before they got to Kuwabara's place.   
  
Yusuke was whistling and rocking back and forth on his feet. Hiei was glaring at people. That's when an old woman came up to Yusuke and pulled on his sleeve.  
  
"I am sorry, lady. I can't help you across the street go find a boy scout," Yusuke responded avoiding the old women. She was kinda scary. This earned him a wack on the head by the old lady's umbrella. "Oww what was that for?!" Yusuke complained rubbing his head.   
  
"I don't need help across the street but shouldn't you take care of your little brother," she said, waving her umbrella in Hiei's direction. "Are you really going to let a little boy cross the street by himself?"  
  
Yusuke looked at Hiei who glared at the stoplight and pretended he hadn't heard. "Ma'am I am afraid you are mistaken . . . "  
  
"You mean he isn't your brother? Is he lost? Boy, are you lost?" the women said immediately going over to Hiei. Hiei just shook his head and looked over at the crowd moving on.   
  
"We have to go now, Ma'am," Yusuke said ushering Hiei to move on.   
  
"Safety first," the women said grabbing Hiei's hand and pushing it into Yusuke's. Then the women waddled off.   
  
"I am not supposed to kill humans. I will not kill humans," Hiei muttered.   
  
"Come on, squirt," Yusuke said, tugging Hiei along by the hand and thinking it a great joke. He could feel Hiei's glare burning into the back of his head.   
  
Hiei thought about burning Yusuke to a small bloody crisp and leaving him for dead but the boy had more than nine lives and it wouldn't do Hiei any great pleasure for him to come back and then Kurama yell at him for killing him in the first place. So then the much more evil plan came into his head.   
  
"Okay!" he responded in his best little kid voice, "let's go!" he said squeezing Yusuke's hand until he thought he heard bones cracking. Yusuke's face turned into an expression of undeniable pain. "What's the matter?" Hiei asked innocently. Yusuke pulled his hand out of Hiei's.  
  
"Ok, ok, I get it. Geez that hurt!" Yusuke said, rubbing his hand gently. "You're so mean," he said hitting Hiei on the shoulder. Hiei gave his infamous fanged smirk.   
  
They stopped outside the Kuwabara home. "We'd better be quiet if we can avoid Shizuru that will probably be best," Yusuke said looking worriedly at the quiet house. Yusuke gave barely a knock and all of the sudden a horrible screech of "Puu" resounded through the house.   
  
"Tell your bloody penguin to be quiet," Hiei said angrily.   
  
"Urameshi when I get my hands on you!!!" Shizuru yelled and Yusuke winced.   
  
"Shouldn't you knock?" Hiei said sweetly. Yusuke shot him a glare and then tentatively knocked on the door very quietly.   
  
"One second!" Shizuru shouted as she came down the stairs. She flung the door open, her hair was a mess and a cigarette was barely held in her mouth. "URAMESHI! YOU'RE SO DEAD!!!" she screamed and chased him out into the street.   
  
"I'm SORRY!! Really, really, sorry!" Yusuke yelled running down the street. Hiei watched the scene with a small smirk containing his laughter.   
  
"Hey shrimp what's up with them?" Kuwabara asked from the doorway. He was wearing some kitten pajamas and his cat was following behind him as well as Puu who flew out the door and landed in Hiei's hands.   
  
"Hello fool Shizuru is mad about Yusuke forgetting to pick up Pu," Hiei responded. At the mention of his name Puu automatically smiled, well it looked like it smiled anyway and cuddled closer to Hiei's cloak. Hiei reacted by looking at the thing curiously but making no move to dislodge it.   
  
"Oh yeah that's usual. Well I am gonna go and . . . yeah see you later shrimp," Kuwabara said retreating back into the house.  
  
"Fool," Hiei sighed, watching as Shizuru caught Yusuke. "Don't watch Puu," Hiei warned as Shizuru proceeded to beat the life out of Yusuke.   
  
"I'm okay!" Yusuke said lamely from the pavement in front of the Kuwabara house. Shizuru glared at him as she made her way back up to the house. She inhaled a deep breath of cigarette smoke when she got to the doorway.  
  
"Bye Puu," she said, rubbing the head of the creature affectionately. "Hey Hiei thanks for getting Puu see you around," Shizuru said going in and closing the door. Hiei sighed and walked down the steps over to the lump of bruises that used to be the Spirit detective, Puu still sitting in his arms.  
  
"Maybe you should get up now. We have other places we need to go," Hiei said nudging Yusuke with his foot.  
  
"Where else do we have to go?" Yusuke asked standing up.   
  
"You need food at your apartment," Hiei responded. Puu still sat on him. Hiei had forgotten about him.   
  
"Aww look Puu likes you," Yusuke said annoyingly. Hiei shot him a glare that quite clearly said 'go to hell'.   
  
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"Hiei, are you sure we are going to a super market?" Yusuke asked. (1)  
  
"...I was following you," Hiei responded.  
  
"Oh great! Well we are in some store let's get what we need and leave," Yusuke said leading the way through a crowd of people. Hiei wove his way after him.   
  
"Get off, you, old hag! This is mine!" Yusuke yelled wading through the mob of people in an attempt to get a grocery cart. Hiei stood back with Puu and watched. After about two seconds Yusuke was thrown out of the fray and back to skid to a stop next to Hiei who looked down at him with pity.   
  
"It must be humiliating to be defeated by old women," Hiei said quietly looking down at him.   
  
"I am not defeated yet!" Yusuke said jumping back into the fray. Hiei and Puu exchanged a look.   
  
"Five seconds?" Hiei asked and Puu nodded. "Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . " Hiei counted down at one the detective once again was thrown over to land at Hiei's feet.  
  
"Ouch," he muttered lamely. Hiei sighed.   
  
"I'll do it," Hiei said. He moved to hold Puu by one ear. "You know what to do Puu, don't move," Hiei muttered to it. Puu made a pathetic noise before he let Hiei drag him by one ear. Hiei sniffled once and all the women automatically turned back to look at him.   
  
"Aww look, how cute!" one murmured  
  
"It's a little boy and his stuffed animal!! So kawaii!" another said.  
  
"Hello little one," one of them said to Hiei.   
  
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," Hiei said in an adorably cute little child like voice.   
  
"Awww," the one who had talked to him said.   
  
Hiei looked around him a bit then went and pulled a shopping cart out and back toward Yusuke. All the ladies waved at him and he waved back. He got over to Yusuke and prodded him up and away from all the women who turned back to fight over shopping carts.  
  
"Sorry Puu," he muttered as he let Puu go. Puu flew up to sit in the basket of the cart while Yusuke gawked at Hiei. "What?"   
  
"You just tricked those people into thinking you were a little kid," Yusuke said, pushing the cart.  
  
"Yea so?" Hiei said looking away.  
  
"I didn't know you had it in you!! I'm so proud!!" Yusuke sniffled, hugging Hiei.  
  
"Agh, get off! Alright so I played dirty so what? I can't beat them up or I would!" Hiei said trying to be threatening but failing due to Yusuke hugging his shoulders.   
  
"Alright so what do we need?" Yusuke asked pushing the cart down the aisle trying to figure out what they needed.  
  
"First we need to figure out what you are going to eat for dinner tonight and the next night and so on for about a week," Hiei said looking down the aisle at all the foods.  
  
"Uhh Hiei I have never done this before. Usually Kekio drags me with her to do it and I end up following her around while she finds everything. I can cook Ramen and that's about it. Mom can cook some when she's sober which isn't often," Yusuke confessed.  
  
"Hn," Hiei said looking at the meat and picking out something putting it in the cart. "Look at the coloring of the meat and the date. Don't get it if it looks bad or is out of date," (2)Hiei explained walking down the aisle looking at the products. Yusuke followed with a befuddled expression and Puu with a happy expression due mostly to the fact that he had no idea what was going on. "You'll probably want some fish," Hiei said and proceeded to talk to the dealer behind the counter.   
  
"Okay so we've got meat now what?" Yusuke asked.   
  
"Produce," Hiei responded walking onto the produce section.   
  
"Vegetables?" Yusuke asked pushing the cart after him. Hiei gave him a 'pity the fool' look.   
  
"Puu what did I do to deserve this abuse?" Yusuke asked the small blue penguin who just said "puu" while Hiei picked up vegetables.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Now Hiei we must enter my territory," Yusuke said nobly and Hiei looked puzzled. He followed Yusuke curiously into the candy aisle. "Meet the candy aisle!" Yusuke said happily. Hiei sweatdropped. "This is the most important thing in all shopping trips!" Yusuke proclaimed standing on top of the shopping cart.   
  
"Yusuke, where did you get that headband?" Hiei asked suddenly noticing the white headband flowing from Yusuke's head.   
  
"This? This is the fighting headband of junk food!" Yusuke said with a victory sign. Hiei sweatdropped again.   
  
"Very original," Hiei commented dryly as he picked at the sweets. "It's all so . . . colorful . . . It hurts my eyes."  
  
"They have all the sweets here though! Cheery orange and blueberry! Every color every flavor its paradise!!" Yusuke said in a sing songy voice.   
  
"If you burst into song I am going to cleave your tongue out and sell it," Hiei threatened evenly.   
  
"Fine," Yusuke pouted picking up various bags and dropping them into the cart.   
  
"Do we really need so much? You could feed entire villages with what you are getting."  
  
"It's Christmas. Christmas is all about spending lots and lots of money and shopping. A lot of shopping," Yusuke said.  
  
"I hate shopping."  
  
"You didn't seem to mind shopping here."  
  
"This was necessary."  
  
"I think I should be offended."  
  
"Your face is offensive enough on its own," Hiei replied in an annoying voice.  
  
"You're awful you know that don't you?"  
  
"I am evil! I think you forgot."  
  
"Oh no, I haven't, you are very evil," Yusuke replied in a patronizing tone.  
  
"Now who's being awful?" Hiei asked. To this Yusuke stuck his tongue out at Hiei. He expected Hiei to get offended and tell him he was immature, so he was completely surprised when Hiei stuck his tongue back out at him.   
  
"That was a lousy comeback, Hiei," Yusuke responded.  
  
"Hn. Come on we aren't finished shopping yet. Besides you started it."   
  
***************one hour fifteen minutes and twenty nine seconds later*******************  
  
"Hiei? Are we done now?!?" Yusuke asked slumping on the bar handle.   
  
"We were done twenty minutes ago. We're in line to check out," Hiei responded.  
  
"Hiei, umm, do you have any money? Because I don't."  
  
"Hang on let me check. What kind of currency do they take here?" Hiei asked digging into one of his pockets.   
  
"Human Japanese currency Hiei," Yusuke said watching as Hiei pulled out a ruby glared at it and shoved it back into his pocket. Yusuke continued to watch as Hiei pulled off his cloak and searched through hundreds of hidden pockets that Yusuke had never noticed before. "Wow Hiei, do you ever clean out your pockets?" Yusuke asked as Hiei continued to pull out strange things and shove them back.   
  
"Hn!" Hiei responded tugging off his boots and looking through them.   
  
"Ahh Hiei you can't have a strip show in the middle of the store!" Yusuke whispered fiercely as Hiei opened up secret pockets in the heel of his boots.   
  
"Found it!" Hiei said pulling out a lot of yen.   
  
"Okay good now put your clothes back on!" Yusuke said eyeing the women who had come over to see Hiei in a v-neck T-shirt that wasn't very covering and without shoes. Hiei looked at him innocently but pulled back on his boots, cloak, and scarf.   
  
After that Yusuke hurried them out of the store with the bags. "Well that was interesting. Come on let's take the bus back to the apartment," Yusuke said walking over to the bus stop. Hiei eyed the bus distastefully as it pulled to a stop next to the curb. He boarded with Yusuke however and managed to appear calm as Yusuke cheated the fare with some wads of paper.   
  
They sat on two of the back row seats. Their bags taking up the other two seats next to them. Hiei looked around them as Yusuke dozed in the chair next to him with Puu in his lap. Hiei winced at the gum stuck to everything and tried futilely to touch as little of the bus as possible. The bus itself was disgusting and the people weren't exactly pleasant. The business man sitting in front of them had hair that was greasier than Yusuke's if that was possible. Also he was talking to someone on the phone and calling her a "whore bitch." Next was the man, two seats up on the left, who was obviously homeless and had a sign that said "help an AIDS victim" they others were seemingly normal but everyone appeared worse in the dingy street bus. The only thing Hiei could think about was getting off. The sign at the front gave off a ding and Yusuke woke up.  
  
"Well this is our stop we'd better get our stuff," Yusuke said, grabbing the bags next to him while Hiei grabbed his. They passed the people in quiet. Hiei however kicked the business man in the shins "accidentally" and nodded to the aid's victims he wasn't one for pity but treating him like a human was something else.   
  
They got off and hiked up the two flights of stairs to the Urameshi apartment. Yusuke kicked off his shoes and Hiei followed his example. "Well that was fun. I hope you know how to cook because like I said all I know is Ramen," Yusuke said.   
  
"Hn," Hiei responded putting the groceries away.   
  
"So Hiei, do you even know what Christmas is?" Yusuke asked hoping he did.   
  
"Yes," Hiei responded quietly putting away the vegetables.   
  
"Good I think we should make this a nice Christmas. I can't remember the last good Christmas mom and me had. Have you ever had a Christmas?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Not like this," Hiei commented, putting up the milk and juice.   
  
"Well, what do you say if we make this the best Christmas yet," Yusuke said.  
  
"I'd say we were very idealistic."  
  
"Alright, so we just make it a nice Christmas."  
  
"Hn. Fine."  
  
"Great!" Yusuke said getting up and grabbing a piece of paper and pencil, "if we are going to make this a good Christmas we better get the right things. First we need a Christmas tree." Yusuke wrote Christmas tree down on his list.   
  
"You'll have to decorate it," Hiei commented from where he was once again standing on the counter to put away groceries.   
  
"And the apartment," Yusuke said scribbling down ornaments. "What else?"  
  
"Lights," Hiei responded this time from the lower cabinets as he searched for a pan.   
  
"Ok, and presents and that should do it," Yusuke said writing down the last two things. He titled it "Yusuke and Hiei's Christmas to do list."  
  
"Presents? For whom?" Hiei asked as heated up the pan himself and placed it on the stove top.   
  
"For our friends and family. Duh!" Yusuke said, giving Hiei a goofy look.  
  
"Make a list of everyone's name so we can check them off. I don't even know whom we should consider."  
  
"Alright, first we have my mom, Yukina, as family, then Kurama, Kekio, Kuwabara . . . " Yusuke trailed off thinking as he scribbled down the names.  
  
"Shizuru, Genekai, Botan, Koenma, and yourself. I believe that's every one of your friends and you might as well get yourself something," Hiei said as he placed the meat in the pan to cook.   
  
"You are forgetting one important person!" Yusuke said smiling.   
  
"You already said Kekio," Hiei commented.  
  
"I meant you baka!" Yusuke said, hitting Hiei upside the head. (3)  
  
"Hn." Hiei said.  
  
"Puu!!!" Pu said from the counter.   
  
"Don't worry Pu we'll get you something too," Yusuke said. "What are you going to get Yukina anyway?"   
  
"I am going to the Makai later to get my presents for the others," Hiei said.  
  
"Hey, no fair! I don't know what to get them you're supposed to help me out with that!" Yusuke said half-joking and half-totally serious.   
  
"Hn. I'll help you but I am getting my own presents separate. Don't ask me why I am doing this. Kurama seemed to think it was very important though. He told me I should get you people something. Oh well whatever I am probably just going to steal it."  
  
"I think that is the most you have ever said to me," Yusuke commented stunned as Hiei started to cut up and stir the meat to get it cooked faster. "But Hiei won't stealing violate your probation?"   
  
"Only if I get caught."  
  
"There's demon sense for you," Yusuke said dryly to no one. "Well don't get caught then."  
  
"I won't. I only got caught once and I still blame Gouki for that. Besides I am stealing from demons who stole from someone else. It's not really stealing, but it's going to hurt twice as much if I get caught. They won't turn me over to Rekai though. That's for sure," Hiei said smirking as he added vegetables to the meat in the pan.   
  
"They'll probably kill you."  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Puu!!" Puu said flying over to sit next to Hiei.   
  
"See I think Puu's attached to you now. You can't get dead. You'll make the penguin sad!" Yusuke said smiling but really hoping Hiei would listen.   
  
"Hn, lets eat," Hiei said shoveling the food onto two plates. He took one and gave to the other to Yusuke giving the scraps to Puu.  
  
"This is good Hiei," Yusuke commented.  
  
"Puu!" Puu said in agreement.  
  
"Hn," Hiei said, ducking his head.   
  
  
  
They sat in silence for a while. Nice quiet silence that was looking very nice and quiet until.   
  
"Aww it looks like a nice happy little family!!" Botan said from behind Yusuke who jumped about four feet in the air.   
  
"Agh Botan, did you have to do that?" Yusuke coughed, beating his chest where the food had gone down the wrong way.  
  
"Yes I do," she said solemnly. There was quiet for a second. Hiei looked at Yusuke who shrugged. "Okay anyway!" Botan said back into a cheerful mood which caused Hiei and Yusuke to fall out of their chairs.   
  
"Botan you are weird," Yusuke muttered sitting back down.   
  
"I know!' Botan said with a victory sign.  
  
"Botan why are you here?" Hiei asked.  
  
"You aren't glad to see me!? Can't I just come by for no reason besides to see my friends? I swear you all don't appreciate me in the least!! It's always 'what's the mission Botan' or 'what do you want Botan' its never 'hello Botan would you like a cup of tea?' or 'Botan so good to see you!'" she wailed.  
  
"That's because it's not," Hiei muttered.  
  
"You are all so abusive of me!" Botan cried sitting in a vacant chair and wailing her heart out.   
  
"Puu?" Pu said approaching Botan and poking her with an ear. This turned Botan into a new wail.  
  
"Pu you are the only one who cares!" she cried grabbing the penguin and hugging it tightly.  
  
  
  
"Botan, you are hurting Puu!!" Hiei said quickly.  
  
"Botan let Puu go," Yusuke coaxed.  
  
"He can't breathe like that," Hiei added.  
  
"He's turning blue!" Yusuke said anxiously.  
  
"Yusuke he is always blue," Hiei said looking at Yusuke.  
  
"Yea but he is looking a little bluer, I mean look at his face doesn't it look darker?" Yusuke said pointing at Pu.  
  
  
  
"Actually he does look a little more blue right under the hair," Hiei commented, looking closer. "It could be like a tan though."  
  
"Can Pu get a tan?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Well I mean theoretically I don't see why it shouldn't be able too," Hiei responded.  
  
"PUU!!!" Pu screeched.  
  
"Oh right sorry Pu," Yusuke said grabbing hold of Botan's arm and wrenching it off of Pu. The minute it was free Pu took off for the other room. Botan sat up and sniffled.  
  
"So Botan are you just here for a visit?" Yusuke asked calmly.  
  
"Actually no I came to bring Hiei a note from Koenma!" Botan said cheerily. BAM. Yusuke and Hiei fell over again.  
  
"You just went through all this stuff about how sometimes you just want to come visit and the whole time you really do have a mission?" Hiei yelled.  
  
"You don't have to be so mean about it," Botan sniffled.   
  
"Hiei control your anger or she'll freak out on us again," Yusuke whispered.   
  
"Now you are keeping secrets from me!" Botan sobbed.  
  
"No, no, we are just talking about . . . ahh . . . what to get you for Christmas! Yep!" Yusuke said.   
  
"Oh really?!? what what???" she asked Yusuke.   
  
"Botan, can I have my note?" Hiei asked calmly.  
  
"Oh sure here you go. Now what are you getting me Yusuke??" Botan said hounding Yusuke while Hiei read his note.   
  
"It's a surprise Botan! Hiei what's on the note?" Yusuke asked turning to the short fire demon who was looking pensive.  
  
"Mission," Hiei responded thinking.  
  
"Who's going?" Yusuke said hoping for a mission. Also hoping not to be abandoned to the lonely house as loathe as he was to admit it.   
  
"I am," Hiei responded picking up his plate and cleaning it.   
  
"But Hiei I am going to miss you soo much!" Yusuke said with streams of tears as he glomped onto Hiei's back.  
  
"You just want me to cook dinner," Hiei responded dryly.  
  
"Well yes but still!" Yusuke said clinging.   
  
"I'll be back by morning," Hiei responded shaking off the clingy detective who would miss his cooking and avoiding the big eyes of Pu. "Ja everyone," he said somberly and disappeared in a black blur.   
  
"Looks like we're ordering out Pu," Yusuke said. "You staying Botan?"   
  
"For a while let's eat!" Botan said smiling.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(1) since I have never been in a Japanese store I modeled it mostly after an American one gomen readers I tried to make this as authentic as I could even though Christmas probably wouldn't be there either but still you know that would kill the story and I am going to shut up now.   
  
(2) I really don't know how to tell if meats bad besides the date  
  
(3) is that really how you write that? You know what I mean anyways I hope  
  
Kikira-san: another weird ending I think I am going on a streak of weird endings. I know this one was a tad sad but the underlying plot is supposed to be Hiei should have a life too.  
  
Hiei: I have a life!  
  
Kurama: suure  
  
Yusuke: uh huh  
  
Hiei: but you all won't for much longer  
  
Kikira-san: fine =P  
  
A/N: next chapter up soon. I have more writing time now that it's weekend and my family trips are over. Happy belted turkey day for all you Thanksgiving ppl out there. Next chapter more shopping and decorating. The mission thing will not only be completed and I am debating about making Hiei's Christmas shopping go with it. Then again Hiei having to take Yusuke to the Makai to shop would be fun. So REVIEW AND TELL ME WHICH WOULD BE BEST!!! otherwise I'll make a decision and it won't be pretty. 


	4. Chapter 3

Kikira-san: I am so random   
  
Hiei: yes you are  
  
Kurama: is that a compliment or an insult?  
  
Kikira-san: ::listening/watching AMVs::  
  
Hiei and Kurama:::sweatdrop::  
  
Hiei: she doesn't own YYH or anything she's just stupid  
  
Kurama: I think she can hear you  
  
Hiei: yes but what made you think I cared?  
  
Kurama: good point  
  
/—/= Yusuke's thoughts  
  
[—] = Hiei's thoughts  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Be"REI-GUN!"-BAM!   
  
Yusuke buried his head under his pillow. He didn't get up but the alarm clock had woken him and now that it had he couldn't fall asleep.   
  
"I hate you!" he said pointing at what used to be his clock laying on the floor. Yawning he got up and walked away from it as it gave off one last pitiful beep.   
  
On his way to the kitchen for whatever leftovers he could find when he heard some sleeping on the couch.   
  
"Welcome back mom!" he said sarcastically walking into the living room to go and tell her that she should have come back earlier or something sarcastic and annoying. That's when he saw it wasn't his mom sleeping on the couch but Hiei.   
  
Our brave noble spirit detective was in tears of happiness, clinging to his pillow in light blue pajamas with white polka dots in tears staring down at a fire demon drooling on his couch. No, Yusuke hadn't lost his mind. He had however lost his lunch (A/N Agh what an awful pun) after the take out food that he, Botan, and Pu had, had for dinner.   
  
"HIEI!" he cried in happiness!   
  
"DOOR!" Hiei yelled jumping up. There was a quiet moment while Yusuke raised an eyebrow and Hiei looked frantically around. "Oh," he said quietly realizing where he was. "WHY'D YOU WAKE ME UP!?!?" Hiei yelled.   
  
"I missed you!" Yusuke said glomping Hiei.  
  
  
  
"Once again you just missed my cooking," Hiei responded aggravatedly detaching the detective from him.   
  
"Did you get your presents from the Makai?" Yusuke asked sitting on the couch next to Hiei looking far too happy.  
  
"Yes I got the presents from Makai all but one. I completed the mission. I ate the head off a live chicken and I sang I'm too sexy in the middle of Tokyo. Then I went home and died. By choking on a Christmas snowflake ornament that was possessed and trying to kill me," he muttered vaguely falling back on the bed.  
  
Yusuke blinked. Blink. Blink. He grabbed Hiei's shoulders and shook him. "Snap out of it man! You're delusional!!" Yusuke said shaking Hiei. Hiei's head lolled on his shoulders and he started to hum I'm too sexy. "I'm sorry about this Hiei," he responded slapping Hiei.   
  
"Ow!" Hiei said cradling his face that now had a large red hand print. "BAKA!" he yelled jumping at Yusuke who ran down the hallway to escape his wrath.   
  
"Don't kill me, Hiei!" he yelled running for his dear life. Hiei ran after him with his katana. All of the sudden Hiei stopped yawned and put his katana down.   
  
"I'm hungry. I want my coffee," Hiei said trudging away to the kitchen dragging the katana along behind him like a little kid does with a stuffed animal. Yusuke thought it was kawaii but at the same time a long line was being dug in his floor.   
  
"Mornings are baaddd." Yusuke said slumping on the floor tired after the running.   
  
******************************************************************************  
  
A/N: that wasn't too funny was it? Let's see if we can make getting the Christmas tree better. Hehehehe I think I can.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Sooo did you really sing "I'm too sexy" in the middle of Tokyo?"  
  
"There are some things I would really rather not relive."  
  
"So you did?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Alright, today we get a tree!" Yusuke said decisively.   
  
"Whom are you talking to?" Hiei asked coming around the corner fixing his scarf.   
  
".............the walls," Yusuke responded. Hiei raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! They have ears!!!!" Yusuke said, clamping a mittened hand over Hiei's eyebrows and dragging him toward to the door.   
  
"Do I need to mention that you put your hand over my eyebrow?"  
  
"They speak eyebrow!" Yusuke said his eyes darting around.   
  
"You drank my coffee didn't you?"  
  
"We must hurry! They are calling upon their armies of badly colored napkins to eat us! Run my child run!" Yusuke said shoving Hiei out the door and locking it behind him.   
  
"I hate you," Hiei sighed wrapping his scarf more securely as they entered the windy outdoors.   
  
"Aww no you don't!" Yusuke said poking Hiei in the shoulder to get him moving. "How are we going to do this? I mean we don't have a car or well mom has it. I haven't seen it in a while though. I wouldn't be surprised if it's been stolen or something." Yusuke babbled.   
  
"Ahh stop! You're taking up memory brain cells with your pointless crap! Get it out!!!" Hiei proceeded to run away from Yusuke who proceeded to run after him in an attempt to beat him up for saying his crap was pointless.  
  
Then he lost Hiei.  
  
"Oh shit!" Yusuke said looking around the busy downtown street that he had followed Hiei too. "Kurama's gonna kill me! I lost Hiei!" Yusuke freaked seeing himself diced by a rose whip with a chibi crying Hiei in the background. Then he remembered Atsuko, Kekio, and Yukina. "OH SHIT!" he yelled. He could just picture being killed by a rose whip, a broken sake bottle, while frozen and being slapped to death.   
  
Yusuke tried to track Hiei's ki signature but it was cloaked. "Dammit!" Yusuke cursed along with some other quite colorful words while wondering around looking for Hiei. He spotted an old lady on the corner. "Hey ma'am have you seen my little brother? He's about this tall with black spiky hair he'd be wearing all black," Yusuke proceeded to describe Hiei to the women.   
  
"Would he be yelling curses about someone damn Yuki or Yusska or something? And a Kurma or something?" the woman asked.  
  
"Yes!" Yusuke said ecstatically.   
  
"Nope haven't seen him."   
  
"But...but...how'd you know what he'd be saying?"  
  
"Ask the women on the corner with the crystal ball," the woman said, pointing over at a dark alley. "She told me about him walking around here for some strange reason. She was quite the loon kept yelling about how no one loved her." The woman shook her head and walked away.   
  
....................  
  
"BOTAN!!!!!!" Yusuke yelled running down the alley.   
  
"Yusuke! I'm with a customer!" Botan said sitting at the table. No one was in the chair across from her. She was wearing the outfit she wore when telling Yusuke to be a spirit detective. If you don't remember . . . hell if I know.   
  
"Botan no one's at the table," Yusuke said blinking at nothing.  
  
"YUSUKE! She's very sensitive about the fact she's invisible!" Botan said in a hushed voice.   
  
"Ummmm Botan I don't think anyone's there."  
  
"YUSUKE!!!!!! Now you've hurt her feelings! It's okay dear. He didn't mean it like that."  
  
"Botan it's Hiei! I need help finding him!" Yusuke said, hopping back and forth from one foot to the other in a look of impatience.   
  
"YUSUKE URAMESHI!!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!! Now she's leaving! Good job!" Botan said clearly angry.   
  
Yusuke opened his mouth to respond but was stopped when he was slapped. He fell down on the ground backwards and watched as footprints appeared in the snow behind him. "There really was someone there!" Yusuke said amazed.   
  
"Humphf! See! I told you. Now go away! You're bad for business!" Botan said stomping back to her chair behind the crystal ball.   
  
"Botan please?! I can't find Hiei! Kurama will kill me if I lose him! He told me to make sure he spent Christmas here!" Yusuke begged.  
  
"Why should I? You don't love me!" Botan said sniffly.  
  
"Pllease Botan?! I'll do anything!! I don't want to be eaten by a death planet or a death tree!!! Please?!" Yusuke practically begged.  
  
"Fine. There is one thing! For Christmas I want a karoke machine for the Ferry Girl lounge. Our old one broke."  
  
"...............................FINE!" Yusuke yelled. /Note to self: don't go in the ferry girl's lounge/  
  
"Ok! He's downtown on the corner of first and fifth right now. He's heading for the park. Don't you forget!" Botan yelled at Yusuke as he took off in direction of the park. (1)  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
After congratulating himself on losing Yusuke, Hiei went toward the park he always went to. He had the nagging feeling someone was watching him but shook it off as nothing. He was sitting in his favorite tree watching the ningiens throw snow at each other. It was all very calm until a snowball was thrown at him.  
  
Hiei melted the snowball with his fire aura before it even touched him and turned red glaring eyes upon Kuwabara standing below him packed another ball of snow.  
  
Another snowball was thrown at him, and once again he melted it. Now the ningien was going to pay!  
  
With that Kuwabara's pants caught on fire.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
  
  
Yusuke turned the corner around the gate to the park and stopped. It took about twenty seconds for the scene in front of him to register in his mind. Then he fell over laughing and didn't move even when some kid stepped on him.  
  
"HONEY! Don't step on weird men!"  
  
"Sorry mommy!"  
  
Yusuke was basically crying his eyes out. There was so much water on his eyes that his eyelids got frozen to the cement.   
  
So there they were. Kuwabara running around screaming as his pants burned away. (.)  
  
Yusuke was caught between laughing and screaming in horror as his eyelids were stuck to the cement. And Hiei fell out of his tree laughing his ass off. Who knew ningiens could be so entertaining?  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
After a half hour of Hiei mocking them and everyone in the park running away scared of the insane tantei, Hiei finally melted the tears gluing Yusuke to the sidewalk. Kuwabara finally wised up enough to sit down in the snow to put out the fire. Unfortunately he had lost most of the backside of his pants.  
  
"AGH GOD KUWABARA GET SOME PANTS ON!" Yusuke yelled covering his eyes.   
  
"What are you talking about, Dete–OH HOLY SHIT!" Hiei said falling on the ground. He was out cold twitching occasionally and foaming at the mouth.   
  
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIEI!! ARGH DAMN TURN AROUND OR SOMETHING!" Yusuke yelled.  
  
Kuwabara took the subtle hint and managed to run away streaking most of downtown Tokyo.   
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Hiei," *nudge*  
  
"Hiei!" *poke*  
  
"HIEI!" *kick*  
  
"OUCH! !@#!#@% %$@#@#!$ @!#%$#@" Hiei said sitting up and glaring at Yusuke.   
  
Then he paled considerably. "Is he still here?" he asked almost anxiously. Yusuke shook his head and bit his lip. It was all too hilarious.   
  
"THANK ENMA! Agh I think I'm traumatized," Hiei said standing up and dusting himself off.   
  
"He's probably arrested about now for streaking," Yusuke said, imagining the picture laughing.   
  
"Let's hope so." Hiei muttered.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Why are we out again?" Yusuke mused aloud.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Oh right Christmas tree!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Welcome to Joe's Christmas trees. We have Christmas trees galore. Please feel free to look around, pick out the perfect tree, and then have Joe's friendly and informative staff help you wrap it and put it on your car. Remember at Joe's Christmas trees if we can't find you the perfect Christmas tree then we suck and we will admit it on our knees begging you to come back next year, because at Joe's Christmas trees we aren't above begging," the staff girl said in a cheerily happy voice in a Santa hat. The guy next to her was smoking a cigarette and mouthed "go to hell" at them.   
  
After being throughly disturbed by the salespeople, Hiei and Yusuke wandered around looking for the "perfect" tree.   
  
"How bout that one?" Yusuke said pointing at the tree that looked exactly the same as the other trees.   
  
"I hate seeing trees like this its disgusting." Hiei scowled at the trees.  
  
"I think you've been hanging around Kurama too much."  
  
"Now you've just offended me."  
  
"Aww I am sorry!"  
  
"No, you're not."  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"No, you're not."  
  
"Am too."  
  
"Are not."  
  
"Am too!"  
  
"ARE NOT!"  
  
"AM TOO DAMMIT!"  
  
"ARE FUCKING NOT!"  
  
"AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
****************** A long time later!!!*******************************************  
  
"ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"ARE –hey I like that one!" Hiei said pointing at a tree in the back.   
  
A sudden holy glow came down and lit around the tree and angels could be heard in the background.   
  
"What the hell is that noise and what's with the light?" Yusuke asked. Hiei pointed at the Joe's workers who were waving flashlights around the tree and had their radio playing angel noises.  
  
Insert Hiei and Yusuke sweatdrop.  
  
"So sirs is that going to be your Christmas tree?" the overly happy, probably on drugs, and more than likely thinking about killing you, worker asked.  
  
"Yes we'll take it!" Yusuke said as the cigarette guy sent it through the wrapper machine.   
  
"A good choice sir! Remember sir whenever in need of a Christmas tree think Joe's!" she said holding out her hand.   
  
"How much?" Yusuke asked digging around in his pockets.  
  
"40,000 yens" she said.(2)  
  
"Agh NANI?!" Yusuke yelled.  
  
"We'll pay a 1,000(2)" Hiei said his headband glowing.  
  
"Of course sir! The customer is always right!" she said in a dead zombie voice as Hiei shoved the money into her hand.   
  
"We also left in a car not on foot," Hiei added as he and Yusuke hefted the tree onto their shoulders.   
  
"Right sir!" she said, "Merry Christmas!"  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Man, I can't see anything over this stupid tree! Hiei, where are we going?" Yusuke asked.   
  
"Look up ahead and to your right," Hiei said with a badly suppressed laugh. Yusuke growled incoherently but craned his neck over the tree to see Kuwabara running around with four police men chasing him through downtown.   
  
"I can't believe they haven't caught him yet!" Yusuke said giggling. Unfortunately Kuwabara spotted them!  
  
"HIEI YUSUKE HELP ME OUT OVER HERE!" Kuwabara said running toward them.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHH!" they yelled on unison taking off down the street.  
  
"Stupid ningien you'll get us in trouble too! Go away!" Hiei yelled.  
  
"And you're still half naked!" Yusuke yelled angrily. "Shit now the cops are after us too!"   
  
"RUN BAKAS!" Hiei said as they high tailed it to an ally.   
  
"I think we lost the cops," Yusuke whispered. Hiei and Kuwabara nodded. Hiei scooted away from Kuwabara a little bit. "Agh Kuwabara, go call Shizuru your scaring me!"  
  
"She going to hit me though! She's abusive!! I swear you guys I am worried to be in the same house as her!!" Kuwabara said meekly.  
  
"And you call yourself a fighter," Hiei muttered disgustedly. Yusuke just shook his head.  
  
"Get over it! It's either her or jail!!" Yusuke said, flinging a cell phone at Kuwabara.   
  
"Where'd you get that?" Kuwabara asked.   
  
"....Found it."  
  
"What a pathetic excuse!! Why don't you just say you stole it?!" Hiei asked indigently.   
  
"..........I didn't steal it. I was beating up some kid and he chucked it at my forehead and ran. So now it's mine."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Oi how do you work this thing?" Kuwabara asked playing with the buttons.   
  
"You'll figure it out," Yusuke said as he and Hiei left Kuwabara in the alley.  
  
"WAIT I FORGOT MY NUMBER!!!......oh look games!" Kuwabara said sitting down playing games. "Why's my ass so cold?" he wondered aloud as he played the game. He soon forgot about his cold butt though. He was winning! At least he thought he was.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
LETS GO BACK TO THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When Yusuke and Hiei arrived with the Christmas tree on their backs it turned out Atsuko had come home! With a really bad hangover!   
  
"Alright boys move it to the left a little," Atsuko directed from her place on the floor as the two tired to straighten the tree out. "Ok now back back more just a little bit more."  
  
"Geez mom will be going out the window if we go back much more," Yusuke replied spitting out some needles.   
  
"Ok to the right a little, little more, wait that's too far back left," Atsuko said, waving her hands around.   
  
"Just pick a place! My arms are falling asleep!" Yusuke yelled.  
  
"Alright I have it! Hiei move your tree to the left and Yusuke move yours to the right!" Atsuko said with a clap of her hands. Hiei and Yusuke sweatdropped.   
  
"Argh! Hiei just hold it still and I'll get the stand," Yusuke said moving to the closet to retrieve a stand for the tree.   
  
"Yusuke! You shouldn't make poor Hiei do all the work!" Atsuko admonished from where she'd fallen over dizzy. Yusuke just nodded absently as he moved to put the stand on the tree where Hiei was holding it.  
  
"Ok Hiei you can put it down now," Yusuke said moving out of the way. Hiei gently placed the tree on the floor and looked at it. Yusuke moved back to stand next to him and they both stood there starring at it. "It doesn't look too bad."  
  
"If you tilt your head to the right a little bit it looks straight," Hiei said, moving his head to the right. Yusuke and Atsuko did it too.   
  
"Oi you're right. It does!" Yusuke said happily.   
  
"So now all we have to do is get all our guests to move their heads to the right and it'll be fine!" Atsuko said smiling at the two.  
  
"We ought to get some ornaments though. We've still got time before it gets late we could go now?" Yusuke suggested.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Atsuko said standing up surprisingly balanced. "I'll drive. You boys shouldn't wonder around so much."  
  
"Mom you aren't sober!"  
  
"Of course I am Yusuke! No need to worry."  
  
"I'm making coffee!" Yusuke declared exiting into the kitchen.  
  
  
  
"Hiei be a dear and get my keys?" Atsuko asked as she tried to put her left shoe on her right foot. Hiei walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the keys. [I could just accidentally lose them] he thought sullenly. [Nah I've lived a long life and Yusuke will probably be brought back and Atsuko is too lucky to die soooo why not?] He nodded at his decision and handed the keys to Atsuko who had the appropriate shoe on the appropriate foot. Yusuke came out of the kitchen with a thermos of coffee which he handed to his mother.   
  
"You don't have sake, do you?" he asked anxiously.  
  
"No stop worrying! Don't be so stiff Yusuke!" Atsuko said, lighting a cigarette.  
  
"Don't smoke! You'll probably give me or Hiei second hand smoke cancer!" Yusuke said stumbling over his words as Atsuko sighed and put out the cigarette.   
  
"My son the worry wart! Let's go already!" she said ambling out the door and down the stairs toward a decrepit old car.  
  
"It's probably not even legal to have that scrap heap on the road," Yusuke muttered grabbing his hat. Hiei remained quiet through the whole exchange, it being a family matter. "Come on Hiei let's get going," Yusuke said sighing.  
  
"Hn," Hiei said following the detective down the steps and to the car and I use the term loosely.  
  
Atsuko pulled open her door and it made creaking noises as she got in the driver's seat. Yusuke opened the backdoor and let Hiei get in first and then got in beside him pulling the door closed.   
  
"I was hoping to wait a while before dying again but to die in another car crash is just kind of tacky don't you think?" he said trying to lighten the mood as he buckled himself in. Then he leaned over and buckled Hiei in who tried to remain indifferent even though he knew how to work a freaking seatbelt! "Hiei why is your arm on fire?"   
  
"No reason."  
  
"ALRIGHT BOYS HERE WE GO!" Atsuko yelled as she turned on the engine it roared and then they skidded out of the apartment parking lot.  
  
Yusuke was praying while Hiei watched sweatdropping. "Thank you for Kekio and all my friends and my wonderful life and may my next life be just as fulfilling and may I be forgiven for all my wrongs. Please forgive me for beating up those kids at school, for all the bills I skivvied for forgetting Kekio's birthday for being mean to my friends, for every time I beat up Kuwabara . . . " the list went on and on until Atsuko hit a sharp turn and Yusuke was thrown into the door and Hiei hit his shoulder.   
  
"You know Koenma told me that when you die he is going to reincarnate you as a squirrel," Hiei said lightly.  
  
"He said what?!" Yusuke said shocked.  
  
"Yep said it was already Enma approved. I'm just going to hell you have to be a squirrel and have rocks thrown at you and be stalked by women squirrels and have you ever seen a squirrel store nuts in its mouth it's really disgusting," Hiei said with a sort of thoughtful look on his face.   
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANT TO BE A SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kikira-san: hehehehe  
  
Koenma: you know Yusuke that might not be a half bad fate for you  
  
Hiei: I'm so glad I'm going to hell  
  
Kurama: ditto  
  
Yusuke: . you're all so cruel to me  
  
Kikira-san: hehehehe REVIEW!  
  
Yusuke: maybe then I'll feel loved  
  
Hiei, Kurama, Koenma, Kikira-san: doubt it  
  
A/N: sorry about the really lateness of this chapter but finals were murder. I should have the next chapter up soon. This fic probably won't be finished until after Christmas which is a little depressing and I am thinking about writing a sequel. Any ideas you guys have I'd love to here it may help my chapter updates. I hope anyways. Review I write more with reviews otherwise I'll feel unloved like Yusuke! Lol JA!  
  
(1) I know nothing of the streets of wherever they live I think its Tokyo don't know don't care too much. No offense to any one in Tokyo this is just a fic however, not in-depth research. But u could tell me anyways so I could know. I really am bad at this! Lol @.@  
  
(2) I stole that off of a vacation site that told me that 40,000 yen equaled 380 dollars and that 1,000 yen equaled 9.50 dollars. I don't know if its right. Sorry! 


	5. Chapter 4

Kikira-san: .  
  
Hiei: she's mad because this chapter got somehow deleted  
  
Kurama: in fact all of the chapters got deleted so she's having to retype this one since she hadn't posted it yet  
  
Kikira-san: .  
  
Hiei: also she thinks one of us did it  
  
Kurama: which we should have  
  
Kikira-san: . disclaimer  
  
Hiei: Kikira-san doesn't own YYH  
  
Kurama: or anything related  
  
Kikira-san: . story  
  
Hiei and Kurama: ::sigh::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Atsuko had Hiei's hand in a death grip as she dragged him around the store with Yusuke following while trying not to laugh anymore. Hiei was shooting him evil glares.  
  
"One word detective just one" Hiei warned as Atsuko threw a few delicate glass ornaments into the shopping cart.   
  
"At least she didn't make you sit in the shopping cart huh?" Yusuke asked biting the inside of his cheek. He really wanted to laugh. It was even funnier as he watched Hiei's eyebrow twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.  
  
"Clean up aisle five . . . hey! Let go of the mic. You crazy *@#%#$ let go of the @!#$#$% mic! Agh put the oar down! PUT IT DOWN! AHHH!!! *CRACK*"  
  
Hiei and Yusuke both gave each other identical looks of exasperation.   
  
"Hmph really what a way to treat a girl. Anyway umm Yusuke Urameshi and Hiei Jaganshi report to oh where am I? Umm customer service's desk, right away. Yusuke and Hiei haul your lazy @$$es up here! Now!" Botan's voice yelled over the speaker system.   
  
"Damn her damn Koenma, damn missions, damn demons, no offense Hiei, damn everything," Yusuke listed off on his fingers as they approached the customer's service desk.   
  
"Oh there you two are!" Botan said merrily as the two of them reached the desk. "Well it turns out there's a little trouble in Ningienkai and Koenma knew you wouldn't mind taking care of it."  
  
"Well Botan he was dead wrong! We're out trying to have a nice holiday and you and your missions are ruining it," Yusuke said stubbornly.  
  
"Well excuse me. Let the little children's souls get sucked up. Let their parents be in the hospital heart broken with shells of their former lively children. Let the holdiays be . . . "  
  
  
  
"Ok, fine, if you shut the hell up will do it. But you have to shut the hell up for the rest of Christmas. Not until the day after Christmas do I even want to *hear* the word mission. Those are the terms deal?" Yusuke said holding out his hand.   
  
"Fine," Botan said, shaking his hand, "now you have to go down to the section in the middle the meet Santa display, you know the one. The soul sucking demon is disguising himself as one of the people there. We aren't sure who though so your job is to find out who, uncover him, and then deal with him where all the little children won't be traumatized ok?" Botan said watching Hiei nervously.   
  
"Che` fine," Hiei said crossing his arms in a stubborn sort of gesture.   
  
"Well I have to get back to Rekai it's our busy season. You know faulty plugs, cooking accidents, I met this one man who died of a champagne cork to the chest." Botan looked thoughtful for a moment before returning to her bubbly smile. "Well bye!" she said zooming away.   
  
"Well that's just great. I mean freaking great. Let's go get this over with," Yusuke said walking away toward the direction of the "meet Santa" display. Hiei sighed and followed.  
  
They were about out of the ornament store when the intercom came back on.   
  
"If anyone sees a blue haired girl wearing a pink kimono please let the front desk know. Also would the people with the tall brunette woman who is drunk singing about bars and her undead son, please go to aisle 6 to claim her. She's beating our employees back with a broom. We would like you to get the !@#$ over here NOW!" the intercom man said rather pissily.   
  
Sweatdrop. Sweatdrop, Sweatdrop.  
  
"Maybe we should go get Kassan first," Yusuke said, jabbing his thumb back toward the aisle. A loud crash sounded from the aisle. "Then again," Yusuke said, "I mean it's like Botan said those poor little children need us to save them. I mean little kids, Christmas, hospitals, all that Yule tide spirit," Yusuke said walking off. He stopped when something grabbed hold of his collar.   
  
"Atsuko first then horrible ningien children killing demons," Hiei said, dragging him toward aisle five.   
  
"But why?" Yusuke whined as he was dragged along.   
  
"Which do you think is worse? Soul suckers or Atsuko?" Hiei asked questionably.  
  
"Kassan," Yusuke answered quickly.  
  
"So let's get the worst of it over with," Hiei said as they approached the aisle.   
  
"Your logic sucks." Yusuke said flatly.   
  
They came to the aisle with Atsuko beating the employees back with the broom. "You stole my son, you, demons! Now you're after me too! Evil! Give me back my son!" Atsuko yelled smacking random people with the broom.   
  
"Who the hell is this crazy lady?" one of the employees asked only to be smacked on the back of the head by two fists of two rather pissed off looking Tantei.   
  
"Respect," Yusuke growled while Hiei just looked evil and threatening.   
  
"Sorry sir~!" the employee said scrambling away from the two of them.   
  
"Mom, come on, let's go!" Yusuke said dodging warily around the broom as it was tossed at him.   
  
"YUSUKE!" Atsuko screamed embracing her baby in a lung crushing hug while flinging the broom aside and accidentally hitting Hiei square in the head. He lay there with his eyes all swirly while Yusuke passed out from lack of oxygen. "Yusuke?" Atsuko asked shaking him a bit. "Hiei?" she muttered poking the other boy in the forehead.  
  
"OUCH!!!! GODDAMN IT WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO POKE MY EYE OUT????" Hiei yelled both of his hands over his jagan.   
  
"DON'T YELL AT ME!" Atsuko yelled back. Blank look. "What do you mean your eye?" she asked. Hiei blinked and then blinked again.  
  
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm where's Yusuke?" he asked trying to look innocent.  
  
Atsuko narrowed her eyes and was about to tell him not to change the subject when she realized she had forgot what they were talking about anyway. "Yusuke! He's over there!" she said rushing over to him. Hiei went and stood behind her, as Yusuke started to cough weakly.   
  
"Am I dead?....Again?" Yusuke asked feebly.  
  
"No you're alive!" Atsuko said wrapping her arms around his neck. Yusuke mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like shit.   
  
*****************after all that great hugging stuff********bleh hugs********************  
  
"Where do you two want to go now?" Atsuko asked now having one of the boys' hands each. Behind her back Hiei stuck his tongue out at Yusuke who stuck his tongue out at Hiei. "Boys?"   
  
"Hey mom how bout we let Hiei go get his picture taken with Santa?" Yusuke said deciding to get both to embarrass Hiei and to get the mission over with at once! Hiei had the adorably confused look on his face. He knew what all of that meant but didn't understand why he would want a picture of himself with an old bearded man for.   
  
"Oh yes! What a good idea Yusuke!" Atsuko said smiling at Hiei, who still didn't know what was going on but was suspicious of Yusuke's happy smile. It didn't look happy. It looked like one of Kurama's smiles when Hiei woke him up at 2 in the morning because he was hurt.(1) The fake kind of smile. Like I'm not really happy, something else is going on.   
  
Yusuke= ^-^  
  
Atsuko= ^.^  
  
Hiei= .   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hiei you and Yusuke just wait in line here while I go pick up some things we need. Mmk? I'll be right back!" she said walking off leaving Yusuke and Hiei standing in the long line of crying children and aggravated mothers.  
  
"Is that your brat?" one woman asked Yusuke.  
  
"Yes this is my Hiei," Yusuke said pinching Hiei's cheek (FACE!!...perverts) "Isn't he just adorable?" Yusuke fawned sarcastically. Hiei's glare intensified to the point of burning through Yusuke's skull.   
  
"Next whiny little hell-spawned brat!" one elf yelled chewing gum and pointing at Santa who was looking rather happy. Too happy for a fat old man forced into a red suit and holding screaming kids who were leaking from all ends and having lights flashing in his eyes all day long.  
  
"That's the one," Yusuke and Hiei said in unison.   
  
"Hey get your brat up here now!" one of the elves yelled. Yusuke grinned.  
  
"Sure thing ma'am!" he said pushing Hiei up the stairs to Santa. And then right into Santa's lap. Hiei's face promised a long, slow and painful death in Yusuke's near future. Yusuke just sweatdropped and smiled.   
  
"Ok, ok, get out of the picture already smile kid. 1, 2, 3 *FLASH*" the elf said as she pushed the camera button.   
  
Hiei blinked and blinked again with spots covering his eyes. He waved his hands around unaware of where he was.   
  
"So little kid, what do you want for Christmas?" the fake Santa asked Hiei as he started to try and suck Hiei's soul out.  
  
"Your immediate death," Hiei replied sourly using his Jagan to stop "Santa" from sucking his soul out.   
  
"Well if you've been goo . . . what?" Santa asked shakily looking down at the "kid"  
  
"You heard me, moron," Hiei said. Santa started looking very nervous.  
  
"W-well right, I'm sure Santa will give you whatever you want. Merry Christmas-s ho ho ho," Santa said lifting Hiei off his lap and putting him on the ground.   
  
Unfortunately for Hiei he still couldn't see where he was, and the minute he was moved his arms flailed out in search of something solid. Yusuke sensing his trouble grabbed his hand and tried to lead him down the steps.   
  
"Here's your brat's candy," one of the elves said trying to hand Hiei a candy cane.   
  
"Hey could you hold onto him for a minute? I've got to go arrest Santa," Yusuke said with a wink shoving Hiei's hand into hers.   
  
"You've gotta what?!" the elf yelled. Hiei had somehow managed to unwrap his candy cane and was happily licking it. (A/n: -twitch- Hiei's tongue -drool-)  
  
Yusuke jumped back up to where Santa was holding a kid sucking her soul out.   
  
"Santa you're under arrest!" Yusuke declared pointing at the bearded man.  
  
"Ho ho ho?" Santa said giving him a perplexed look that was obviously fake.   
  
"You heard me! Get down here now!" Yusuke screamed.  
  
About then all the little kids got over the shock of the yelling strange boy and started to cry.   
  
"Mommy, I don't want Santa to go to jail!"  
  
"Who will bring the presents!?"  
  
"Why Santa? WHY?!"  
  
"Mommy is Santa going to visit Daddy?"  
  
"I thought Santa was a good guy!"  
  
Then the mothers, who had been standing in line for about twenty minutes with their little whiny I-will-NEVER-shut-up kids(2) who asked the strangest questions, broke. Their children came here to see Santa dammit and by God not rain, snow, or slicked up street punks were going to stop them! The fact that this Santa usually left children quiet and agreeable and slightly zombie-like had nothing to do with it. Not at all.   
  
"Get down from there punk!"  
  
"Our children came to see Santa!"  
  
"Leave Santa alone!"  
  
The mothers shouted at Yusuke and hit him with their bags, some used pepper spray.   
  
"Agh do you ouch want your kids ow watch it! souls sucked out?" Yusuke asked while trying to shield himself from the abusive mothers. The mothers paid no attention to the obviously crazy rabid man trying to destroy their children's Christmas.   
  
Meanwhile fake Santa noticed the Spirit Detective was distracted and decided to make his escape. While moving off the little stage set up for him he miscalculated so badly he ran into Hiei and the elf holding his hand. The shock of the bump was just enough to startled the candy cane out of Hiei's hand and it shattered on the ground. Everything stopped.   
  
Hiei looked down at the shattered remains of his treat with big red eyes wet with tears. With an expression to break the coldest demons heart. He looked up at the crowd with the trodden on puppy dog look, sniffled once, and said quietly in the most pathetic voice "He broke my candy cane."  
  
Then everything was quiet before the mothers, their hearts touched with motherly warmth, turned evil glares at the Santa who was looking VERY nervous.   
  
"I-I'm sorry?" he stuttered backing away from Hiei. Suddenly all the mothers were surrounding him.  
  
"AIIIIE!(3)" the cried pouncing on the Santa. Even the evil mean ghetto elves were helping the woman take down Santa in Hiei's rare fit of cuteness.   
  
Yusuke sporting some new bumps and bruises came up to Hiei and clapped him on the shoulder.   
  
"Good job! I didn't know you could be so manipulative!" Yusuke said smirking. Hiei looked up at him blankly.  
  
"I want another candy cane," he said blandly, blinking.  
  
"Oo-k," Yusuke said perceiving that perhaps the sad look wasn't really faked.   
  
"Let's go find mom and we can get a whole bag of candy canes!" Yusuke said patting Hiei on the back.  
  
"Hn," Hiei grumbled irritatedly.   
  
"Come we have to go find Kassan," Yusuke said grabbing Hiei's hand and pulling him along. Surprisingly this had become so common-place lately because the authoress enjoys it that it bothered neither or our detectives.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kikira-san: ok I'm stopping there so I can put this up I mean its March 15 I think I really should post something  
  
Kurama: I'm bored  
  
Hiei: why does everyone insist on touching my hand  
  
Yusuke: I'm so OOC!  
  
Kikira-san: can't you think of anything positive to say?  
  
::silence::  
  
Kikira-san: I hate all of you.  
  
A/N: anyways it looks like I picked this fic back up I hope none of you are too against it because its not Christmas anymore I mean its just an idea! It started around Christmas! Anyways I'm hoping to finish it soon so that I can get onto this other fic I want to do. With yaoi. I've been too against it lately I should just go for it. How bad could I do? Don't answer that just review.   
  
(1) ok what I meant was when Hiei goes to Kurama's at 2 in the morning cause Hiei got all beat up and Kurama isn't so happy about being woken up for it.   
  
(2) I'm not trying to beat on kids but on the holidays sometimes it just all becomes too much  
  
(3) I don't know either  
  
REVIEW BECAUSE YOU BOTHERED TO LOOK HERE  
  
AND NOW  
  
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BUTTON!!!  
  
CLICK!! 


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